Say hello to Edison and his friend Alfie. Once upon a time, Edison was in L. O. V. E!. (it was much much bigger than just plain old regular love, it was the CAPS LOCK version).  Vandetta, his girlfriend was not necessarily the cutest of monsters but she had a good heart and she treated Eddie like he was golden – she absolutely worshipped him, as he did her. They were rarely apart and so, by default she and Alfie became good friends.
The trio was inseparable and spent many a night chilling at home, watching movies and drinking energy drinks.
Until the inevitable happened. One night, Eddie was working late, (you see where this is going don’t you?) and yes, Vandetta looked at Alfie and saw a little more than just Eddies friend…  Alfie looked at Vandetta and saw a little more than her good heart, and then some Very Bad Things began to happen.
And of course, as Fate would have it (she’s a wily one is Fate), smack bang in the middle of the Very Bad happenings, Eddie arrived home and saw what was going on between his best friend and his girlfriend. He became so very enraged that he ripped them apart and tore Vandetta limb from limb, even chewing up and eating her very good heart (it was a very good heart, super tasty, it didn’t even need salt). He looked at Alfie and took a step towards him, and suddenly his anger subsided as he saw the look of repentance on his best friend’s face.
Later that night, after tossing the last bits of Vandetta onto the town dump, including Eddies very own broken heart, they headed into town to share some energy drinks. And so they lived happily ever after. And the moral of the story, bros before hoes yo.
The end.